The Real Reason You're Not Booking That Trip (And It's Not Money)
You have three tabs open comparing flights to Greece. You've read 47 blog posts about what to pack for Morocco. You've calculated the budget for that Kenya trip six different ways. You've even told your friends you're "definitely going to India this year."
But somehow, you still haven't clicked that "Book Now" button.
Sound familiar?
Here's the truth: It's probably not actually about the money. And it's definitely not about finding the "perfect time" (spoiler alert: it doesn't exist).
I recently sat down with life coach Bonnie Surie on the Type 2 Travel podcast to talk about exactly this—why smart, capable people create elaborate barriers between themselves and the things they actually want. After working with Bonnie for over two years, she's helped me break through more limiting beliefs than a decade of traditional therapy ever did. And what we discovered is that the psychology behind why people don't travel is the same psychology behind why people stay stuck in any area of their lives.
Bonnie Surie of The Freely Me Journey.
So let's dig into what's really stopping you from booking that trip.
"I'll Travel When..."
We all have our go-to excuses:
"I'm too busy right now"
"It's not practical"
"Maybe next year when things calm down"
"I need to lose weight first"
"I should save that money for something more important"
"What if something goes wrong at home? At work?"
Here's the uncomfortable truth that Bonnie helped me see: These aren't reasons. They're protective mechanisms.
Your brain's primary job is to keep you safe. And you know what's safe? The familiar. Your routine. Your comfort zone. That couch you've been sitting on while scrolling through travel photos for the past six months.
As Bonnie explains, "The brain is predictive. Its job is to protect you from anything unfamiliar or unknown. Whenever we have a thought like 'I'm going to take this trip,' and we start imagining it, we activate our imagination—and when we activate our imagination, we're actually activating our nervous system."
So your brain creates elaborate, logical-sounding stories about why now isn't the right time. But what if these excuses are actually revealing something much deeper?
What Your Excuses Are Really Saying
"It's Not Practical" = You've Been Taught That Joy is a Luxury
This is a big one, and Bonnie sees it with clients all the time.
"There's this learned guilt around pleasure," she told me. "You have to earn it, you have to be worthy of it. It's a luxury. And so having to justify pleasure through types of travel would be this inherited idea that it's just not a practical purchase. But pleasure and joy aren't practical. We're here to produce, to be productive."
Most of us grew up learning that pleasure is something you have to earn. That joy is a reward for hard work, not a birthright. When you say travel "isn't practical," what you might actually be saying is: "I don't feel worthy of something that exists purely for my enjoyment and growth."
But what if joy and expansion aren't luxuries at all? What if they're essential to being fully human?
"I'm Too Busy" = You're Afraid of Being Replaceable
"I can't leave. There's too much going on. People need me. Everything will fall apart if I'm not there."
Bonnie identifies this as the over-committer's excuse. "Underneath 'there's too much going on' is this fear that if I leave, everything's going to fall apart or people are going to need me. And below that, there's this hidden belief that says my value comes in my contribution, in my worth and my availability to others."
Here's the reality check: The world will keep turning when you take a week off. Your family will figure it out. Your coworkers will manage. And if they can't? That's a systems problem, not a you problem.
"Maybe Next Year" = Perfectionism is Fear in Disguise
I'll travel when I lose 20 pounds, have more money saved, work calms down, I find the perfect travel companion...
This is where Bonnie really opened my eyes: "Perfectionism is this really great disguise. But it's actually fear. Fear of failing, fear of being seen, fear of being heard, fear of disappointing others, fear of self-disappointment, fear of potential humiliation, fear of even the people in our life perceiving us different."
The "perfect time" to travel is a myth. There will always be something. There will always be a reason to wait.
The Research Trap (Or: Why You've Been Planning Norway for 5 Years)
You've been researching this trip for months. Maybe years. You know which hotels have the best reviews, which restaurants are "unmissable," which tours are worth it.
You feel like you're making progress. But here's the hard truth Bonnie shared: "That behind-the-scenes planning, planning, planning—it feels like progress. It feels like momentum, but it's an absolute illusion. It's just wandering around in your comfort zone."
Research doesn't require commitment. Planning doesn't involve risk. Your brain loves this because you get to feel like you're moving toward your goal while staying completely safe.
So how do you know if you're in the research trap?
Ask yourself: If someone handed you a fully planned itinerary and a paid-for ticket right now, would you be excited? Or would you find a reason why this particular trip isn't quite right?
If it's the latter, you're not researching. You're procrastinating.
Dreamers vs. Doers: What's the Difference?
I asked Bonnie point-blank: What separates someone who dreams about something from someone who actually does it?
Her answer was simple and uncomfortable: "Doers stop waiting for permission. Whether they made the decision or they're naturally like this, their beliefs and behaviors are in alignment."
That's it. That's the big secret.
They had the same fears you have. They had the same busy schedule. They had the same financial considerations. The difference is that their beliefs and their behaviors were in alignment.
Bonnie taught me this powerful exercise: "We connect with that future version of yourself. And the question we ask is, what would she do? How would she behave? And then we take action the way that she would. So we practice behaving as that future version of ourself. And so you have no other option but to become that future version of yourself."
You act as if you're already the person you want to become. Fake it till you make it isn't just a cliché. It's literally how identity change works.
How to Know When Your Fear is Actually Protecting You
One of the most valuable things Bonnie taught me is how to distinguish between logic and intuition.
"Logic shouts," she explained. "It wants to get your attention. It gives you a lot of information, anything and everything to get you to do a specific thing. Intuition is more of a whisper that you kind of sense more than you hear. It's really direct and it's pretty clear."
When I was in a hot air balloon over Cappadocia, Turkey, intuition whispered: "When you get home, you're quitting your job." Logic screamed about financial security and career trajectory. But that quiet inner knowing was right.
If you're overcomplicating the decision, drowning in pros and cons lists, that's probably logic trying to keep you safe in the familiar. If there's a clear, simple knowing underneath all that noise—even if it scares you—that's probably your intuition.
Why Discomfort is Actually the Whole Point
Let me tell you about a trip I led to Cuba this past January where nothing went according to plan. We had a few power outages. Hours without hot water. Far more challenges than usual.
Some people were like, "We don't have power? Cool, let's get out the flashlights!" Others really struggled.
The woman who struggled most reflected with our group a few weeks after we returned: "I didn't love that trip. But it also made me reflect on some things from my childhood. It dug up some stuff for me."
When I shared this with Bonnie, she helped me understand what was really happening: "People who have had past experiences that were so uncomfortable build their life around comfort and they're like we're never going to be uncomfortable again. But they're building a life on a shaky foundation because there is something to be healed and resolved."
That's what travel actually does. When you strip away all the familiar stuff—your routine, your roles, your comfortable environment—what's left is you. The real you. With all your unprocessed emotions and unexamined beliefs.
I've had people tell me they decided to get a divorce, switch careers, or set new boundaries after one of my trips. Not because I told them to, but because travel forces you to face what you've been avoiding.
You're not just booking a trip. You're booking transformation. And transformation, by definition, is uncomfortable.
As Bonnie put it: "If our identity doesn't match, and if that space isn't familiar, we talk ourselves out of it. And that's the natural way that our brain is going to work to prevent us from moving forward."
Okay, So Now What?
Here are the actual, practical steps Bonnie and I recommend to move from dreaming to doing:
1. Name the Real Fear
Get specific. What are you actually afraid of? Disappointing people? Wasting money? Being uncomfortable? Becoming someone different?
Write it down. Then ask: Is this fear protecting me from real danger, or is it protecting me from growth?
2. Stop Waiting for Permission
From your partner, your boss, your parents, society, yourself.
Your existence IS your worthiness. You don't need to justify why you "deserve" to travel.
3. Set a Deadline (And Make It Uncomfortably Soon)
"Someday" isn't a date on the calendar. Pick a specific date—ideally within the next two weeks—by which you will book something.
Tell someone who will actually hold you accountable.
4. Start Smaller If You Need To
Book a long weekend somewhere you've never been. Join a group trip where someone else handles the logistics. Take a day trip to a town an hour away.
As Bonnie says, "Start building that identity in small ways, and the bigger trips will feel less insurmountable."
5. Act As Your Future Self
Picture the version of you who travels regularly. What would she do right now?
Would she spend another three months researching hotels? Or would she just pick one and book it?
You already know what she'd do. So do that.
6. Expect the Discomfort (And Go Anyway)
The anxiety you feel before clicking "book now"? That's normal. Your brain is doing its job—trying to keep you safe.
As Bonnie reminded me: "The key is not to wait until the anxiety goes away. It won't. Not until after you've done the thing and proven to your brain that you survived."
So feel the fear. Acknowledge it. And then book it anyway.
The Trip That's Waiting for You
Close those 47 browser tabs. Stop recalculating the budget. Stop waiting for the perfect time, the perfect body, the perfect travel companion.
The "perfect time" doesn't exist. There will always be something.
Your future self—the one who's been everywhere you want to go—isn't smarter, richer, or braver than you. She just decided that the discomfort of staying stuck was worse than the discomfort of taking action.
As Bonnie beautifully put it in our conversation: "You already know what she'd do. So do that."
You're already her. You've always been her. You're just still pretending you need permission.
You don't.
So what are you going to book?
Want to hear the full conversation? Listen to my episode with Bonnie Surie on the Type 2 Travel podcast where we dig even deeper into limiting beliefs, the psychology of change, and why entrepreneurship (and travel) force you to face yourself.
Ready to stop researching and start going? Check out my upcoming group trips where I handle all the logistics and you just show up ready for transformation.
Work with Bonnie: If this resonated with you and you want to break through your own limiting beliefs, visit thefreelymejourney.com to book a breakthrough session.
Join the conversation: Come hang out in my Facebook group where we talk about this stuff all the time.
