Breaking the Military Wife Mold: Your Guide to Solo Travel
My recent conversation with travel writer Kim Kephart, who's lived across Europe and Asia as a military spouse, opened my eyes to just how restrictive military wife culture can be—and how some women are breaking free.
The Military Spouse Dilemma: Why Independence Feels Impossible
Military life creates unique challenges for spouse independence:
Constant Relocations: Moving every 2-3 years means rebuilding your life, career, and social connections repeatedly.
Career Limitations: Overseas duty stations often restrict spouse employment, forcing career sacrifices.
Cultural Expectations: Military culture expects spouses to manage household duties while partners deploy, leaving little room for personal pursuits.
Social Pressure: Unwritten rules about spouse behavior, social functions, and "proper" conduct can feel suffocating.
But here's what Kim discovered: You can support your partner's military career while maintaining your own identity.
Kimberly while living in Korea.
Solo Travel for Military Spouses: Start Small, Think Big
When Kim began solo traveling while stationed overseas, she faced the typical questions: "Isn't that dangerous?" "What does your husband think?" "Why don't you wait for him?"
Her response: "I'm going to go travel and see what's out there. Because if I don't, then I'm never going to have this opportunity."
Beginner Solo Travel Tips for Military Wives:
1. Start Local: Take weekend trips to nearby cities before attempting international solo travel.
2. Try Day Trips: If stationed in Europe, hop trains to neighboring cities. Practice being alone in new places.
3. Build Confidence Gradually: Visit local businesses you've wanted to try. Get comfortable with your own company.
4. Stop Waiting: Don't postpone dreams waiting for others to join you.
The Permission Problem: Communication vs. Control
Many military spouses struggle with an invisible need for permission. Kim's husband actually questions why she asks permission for trips—because healthy relationships involve communication, not control.
Healthy Communication: "I'm planning a trip to X. How do you feel about that?"
Seeking Permission: "May I please go on this trip?"
If you're genuinely asking permission to live your life, that's a relationship issue requiring serious boundary conversations.
Building Career Independence as a Military Spouse
Kim moves countries every few years but maintains her identity through portable skills:
Freelance Writing: Contributing to Stars and Stripes Europe and military publications
Travel Blogging: Building Kimberly Kephart Travels as location-independent income
Photography: Developing marketable skills that travel anywhere
Solo Hiking: Pursuing passions regardless of location
Key Strategy: Your identity isn't tied to location—it's tied to your skills, passions, and values.
Overcoming Military Wife Stereotypes
There's literally an "Army Wife Handbook" available on Amazon with protocols for military spouse behavior. Kim ignored it entirely.
"I'm a big hot mess," she laughs. "People are always shocked. You guys haven't had kids? And you let your wife solo travel?"
That word—let—should make every woman's skin crawl.
Kimberly at Mont Blanc—highest mountain in Europe outside the Caucasus Mountains.
Solo Travel Safety for Military Spouses
Start Small: Begin with domestic or nearby international destinations.
Research Thoroughly: Use military spouse networks for destination recommendations.
Stay Connected: Regular check-ins with family, but don't over-communicate anxiety.
Trust Your Instincts: Solo travel builds confidence in your decision-making abilities.
The Reality Check: Military Life Abroad Isn't Always Glamorous
"Can we stop Disney-fying Italy?" Kim says. "People think I'm on an eight-year vacation, but every place has its challenges."
Don't let social media fool you—every life has difficulties, whether you're stationed overseas or stuck stateside.
It's Never Too Late: Solo Travel After 40, 50, 60+
Kim's 70-year-old mother-in-law recently started solo traveling after her husband passed away. She's researching destinations and booking trips, proving independence has no expiration date.
The best time to start living independently was 10 years ago. The second best time is now.
Breaking Free: Your Life, Your Rules
Being a military spouse doesn't mean surrendering autonomy. You can support your partner's career while maintaining independence, pursuing interests, and traveling solo.
As Kim puts it: "Solo travel has helped me realize how powerful I am as a woman and how I can make really great decisions for myself."
You don't need permission to live your life. You need courage, planning, and understanding that you deserve more than others' expectations.
Your handbook? Write your own.
Kimberly Kephart is a travel writer, solo hiker, and proudly childfree, unconventional military spouse who’s made a life — and a lot of mistakes — chasing big, brutal hiking trails and budget-friendly solo trips across Europe and Asia. She’s contributed to Stars and Stripes Europe, Military Families Magazine, and United on the ROK, helping military families and solo travelers embrace the messy, magical parts of seeing the world.
After years of following her husband’s military career and starting over with each new move (she’s had more lives than a cat), Kimberly learned to carve out her path, often by doing things scared, slightly unprepared, and way outside her comfort zone. From hiking through grief to figuring out her place as a childfree woman in a family-focused culture, she’s discovered the best trips aren’t the ones you’re ready for; they’re the ones that wreck you a little and show you who you are. She shares her hard-won wisdom (and plenty of bad decisions) over on her blog, Kimberly Kephart Travels, so others know they can do it too, even if they have no idea what they’re doing yet.
